3.01.2008

Indecision


To climb down, to jump, to sit still. If only all choices were so simple.

There's a poll over at the Bead Journal Project, sounding out interest in doing the Journal again, for a second year. I find myself very conflicted about this.

Personally, this has been a very rewarding project. On one hand, I'd like to do it again, just for the schmooze factor. I've enjoyed watching how others of My Kind create and produce art from beads, and I have learned much. It has been fun, and part of me never wants the fun to end. But on the other hand . . .

One of the most appealing aspects of working on the Bead Journal Project, for me, has been its finite quality - that it would have a distinct beginning, process, and ending. Knowing my time would be limited gave me the discipline and impetus to pour it on, pedal to the metal, and dump all I had into it.

Other projects now beckon, other opportunities for growth present themselves, new challenges are begging to be met.

I figured if I started blogging about this, it would help me come to a decision, and it has.

I want this past year to remain something very special in my memory - a unique, once-in-my-lifetime event. My primary goal has yet to be reached - that of sticking with this to the end, so there's still time to savor this experience. However, I don't want to repeat this same challenge. For one thing, I'm concerned I'd devolve into cranking out "wallpaper" by trying to match the intensity of what I've already done and falling short, having exhausted my BJP coin, as it were.

It's a case of "been there, done that" and did it well enough that I don't feel the call to do it again. I need to find new worlds to conquer - whether they be interior or exterior. I suppose my decision is made.

When we reach the end of this adventure in May, I'll be sad to say goodbye but at the same time happy to turn my face to the next horizon, the next jumping-off place.